Day 5

Today they assigned me to work a unit called the Solarium.

Which sounds a lot like aquarium. Honestly, felt like one too, but from the fish's perspective.

Picture this -

A big room.

Windows facing the inside of the hospital.

Layers of PPE.

Running around in circles.

Sweat.

Trying to breath through two masks.

While people watch from the outside.

Alright, so not THAT similar. But I'm tired so roll with me on it.

Honestly it was not that bad. I mean, no one died today on that unit (unfortunately people did still pass away on other units).

I had a nurse from a non ICU department helping me with providing cares. She seemed terrified of being in that room. Panicking about making a mistake that could harm a patient. The whole situation was overwhelming. It was almost incapacitating for her during the first half of the day. I obviously understand how tough of a situation that was for her to be in. Transitioning into an ICU position is never a easy step to take.

I think my only takeaway from today was to not let fear evolve into panic. I have had moments of both during this pandemic. Fear has helped me focus and have the energy to accomplish what I need to. Panic has only limited my mental capacity.

I think this thought process is applicable to how society has handled this moment in time. Panic has only caused chaos and people to hoard toilet paper. While the natural feeling of fear has caused humanity to work together to survive this virus.

Britt.