Day 4

First day on my own.

Third day of of having someone die. Making it so that someone has died every day I have worked this week.

Today's death was a little different though, because I helped them with the process. The patient had been on a breathing machine for a little over two weeks. They had made progress, but were at the point where they needed to remove the machine and see how they would do on their own. In discussing the plan with the family they decided that if the patient was not doing well breathing on their own, that they did not want them to be re-intubated. Basically saying, they were willing to accept letting the patient go if their body could not survive independently from the machines. After two days of fighting for life, you could tell the patient was uncomfortable, incoherent, and losing ground. The physicians spoke with the family and they decided to put the patient on comfort cares. We met with them in the lobby to sign papers. I went with the doctor to be a witness of the family members signature. He had tears in his eyes but stayed strong, it was a hard moment to see.

The doctor put in the comfort care orders. Morphine and Ativan were to be give, as needed, every two hours. I went in to remove the high volume of oxygen that the patient was on. I knew this would potentially cause their body some stress or pain, so I brought in the medications that were ordered to help limit those feelings. After doing those things, I stood in there with the patient, watching the monitor. They had been breathing at a rate of 40 breaths per minute with the oxygen on (normal is 12-20), and without the extra oxygen they increased to 50 breaths per minute. It is incredibly difficult for the body to sustain a rate that high without assistance. I watched as their oxygen saturation slowly decreased. I stood and held their hand for a while. Reminded them that their family loved them. That their family would be alright, and they would be as well. It took a little while for them to pass, but they were not alone when they did. I made sure to be there in the final moments.

In Utah and other states, many people have not seen the effects of the virus. They have been lucky. Seeing that pain and loss is not a reality. I know that sometimes it can be hard to believe what you cannot see. But trust me, the virus is very real. Lives are being lost.

Stay home. Wash your hands. Be grateful if you are not affected by the virus. And pray for those that are.

Britt.