Day 30

I came onto the shift to see I was assigned to a man that had been downgraded from the PACU-ICU last Thursday. I was really surprised that somehow he had ended up on the Medical-ICU, intubated. I took report and was writing down vitals for the hour when I saw that his heart rhythm was bad. Really, it was incompatible with life - which can happen, where your heart is "beating" electricity wise, but not in a blood is moving anywhere sort of way.

I went in to check his pulse, and I could not feel one. I immediately pushed the code button and started doing compressions. We coded him for 30 minutes, but were unable to get him back.

The patient did not have any family, but had built a family out of friends. We did notify his main proxy, but usually that is a family member who reaches out to everyone else with the news. In this situation, everyone called asking me instead why their friend was not texting back or calling. Why it had been a few days. I then had to tell each person what had happened that morning. Repeatedly causing hearts to break. Was so sad.

The last part of the day was composed of getting a new patient that was in critical condition and in need of intubation. They tubed him within the first hour of the transfer. His wife called to make him a DNR (do not resuscitate) status.

My other patient that I cared for throughout the day is by all accounts brain dead. His family is just having a hard time coming to terms with that. He has been kept alive by the ventilator for over a month now. Hoping for progress that has not come.

On a positive note, I had a lot of people randomly reach out to check on me today. I really appreciated it.

Here's to only having 9 days left.

Britt.