Day 13

The moment I truly became scared of the repercussions of the virus came after listening to a podcast episode on "The Daily" a few weeks ago.

It was a discussion with a physician in Italy, he had been helping treat patients for 2 weeks straight. The decisions that were put on his shoulders were incredibly heavy. They did not have enough ventilators and he was having to participate in deciding who would get treatment, at the sacrifice of someone else not. My heart broke for him, I could not imagine having to do that.

See, I remember when I first became a nurse, having to put a label to how I viewed humanity. Did I believe that all people were innately good? Or were there others who did not have that quality? That might seem like an easy decision, but in working with the public - that first stance is not always that easy to believe. I have provided care from some incredibly difficult people, others that have done awful things, and those who have treated me very poorly. Despite all of those factors, I firmly decided that all people have good in them and are of equal worth. That means that I provide unbiased care, not matter who the person is or their background.

When placed in the position that the Italian doctor was, any preconceived notion that all life has equal value had to be obliterated, because you cannot view the decision in that way. It does not matter if a patient is a good or bad person, you have to diminish a person down to their odds of survival. Otherwise, I am sure the psychological consequences of his decisions would ruin him.

To provide care is a privilege and a heavy responsibility. I am so grateful I have not had to make any decisions on what patient receives more of my time or effort at the expense of another. A few weeks ago, that was not necessarily the case here.

I hope those who have had to make those decisions are able to eventually find peace in what they needed to do.

Britt.